Wondering How to Secretly Prepare for Divorce? (2025)

Planning Divorce Secretly: The Basics

As you may have discovered already, divorce is a highly complex process with no shortage of loose ends. There are many steps to consider when preparing for divorce in secret, but those steps boil down to a few key principles:

• Secure your electronic devices
• Keep communication with your divorce lawyer discreet
• Protect your finances
• Be careful who you talk to

Whether you’re a wife or a husband secretly planning divorce, trying to handle multiple facets of your divorce while covering your tracks can be highly stressful. Keep in mind that you won’t be in this situation forever — and that dealing directly with your spouse would likely be even more nerve-racking.

How to Secretly Prepare for Divorce Step by Step

Before you start planning your divorce, pause and take a deep breath. If you’re panicked or overly anxious, it becomes easier to make mistakes. Here’s a preparing for divorce checklist.

1. Make a “Divorce-Only” Email

Often, communicating with a divorce lawyer via email is less conspicuous than talking on the phone. However, to avoid detection, you should make a separate email address just for sending and receiving divorce-related correspondence. Create a strong password, and don’t save any login information on shared devices.

2. Find an Alternate Mailing Address

Depending on your circumstances and reasons for divorce, you may need to receive documents by mail. If this is the case, you should have a mailing address other than the one you share with your spouse.

Renting a P.O. box may be the easiest option, but if you have a friend you can trust, ask if you could have divorce-related documents sent to their home.

3. Create a Separate Bank Account if Possible

You may have heard horror stories of angry spouses draining joint bank accounts when they receive divorce papers. If at all possible, create a separate bank account for yourself (not a joint account) where you can save money for expenses during and after your divorce.

Even if you can’t put away a significant amount, having some money saved is better than having none at all.

To reduce the likelihood of your spouse finding this account, make sure there’s no way they’ll be able to see or intercept account-related information. When you open the account, use your alternate mailing address. If you use online banking to access it, make sure to use the email you created for divorce-related communication.

4. Keep Electronic Devices Secure

Your electronic devices provide a wealth of information about you — and you don’t want your spouse to access that information. These are some suggestions for protecting your phone, laptop, and other electronics:

• Make sure all devices are password-protected
• Choose passwords your spouse can’t guess
• Change passwords regularly
• If you use shared devices, clear your history, cookies, and cache after each use
• If possible, use a virtual private network to conceal online activity

The more tech-savvy your spouse is, the more careful you should be with this step. Try not to leave your electronics where your spouse can easily access them. Given enough time, your spouse might be able to get into a device and access your information.

5. Gather Financial Documents

This step is particularly important if your spouse is the one who primarily controls the finances. If you can do so without drawing your spouse’s attention, gather these important documents:

• Current bank statements
• An estimate of how much cash you and your spouse have on hand
• Statements for investment accounts
• Tax returns
• Statements for retirement accounts
• Mortgage documents
• Details of any cryptocurrency accounts

Don’t worry if you can’t access all of these documents. When you find a divorce lawyer, your attorney should be able to ensure you get all the documentation you need.

6. Find a Competent Divorce Attorney

If you’re wondering how to get a divorce without your spouse catching on too soon, a divorce lawyer can give you the best advice. However, before committing to any lawyer, you should first make sure they have experience with divorces like yours.

If your spouse is abusive, finding an attorney who has handled domestic violence cases is wise. Similarly, if you and your spouse have a high combined net worth, you should look for a lawyer with experience in high-asset divorces.

7. Build a Support Network, but Be Careful Who You Trust

Divorce is an emotionally taxing, lonely process. This is especially true when you’re planning the divorce in secret. A support network can help protect your mental health and overall well-being. Depending on your circumstances, your network could involve the following:

• A therapist or other mental health professional
• A support group
• Family members
• Trusted friends

It’s generally a good idea to avoid discussing the divorce with people who are also friends with your spouse. They might accidentally say something that tips off your spouse.

Need to Know How to Secretly Prepare for Divorce?

If you’re ready to divorce your spouse, finding an experienced divorce lawyer is of paramount importance. Divorce attorneys have helped countless people in your situation, and they will likely be able to help you protect yourself as you prepare.

Not sure how to choose your attorney? That’s why we’re here. At ConsumerShield, we make it our mission to connect people with experienced lawyers in their area. We keep the process fast and simple. Fill out our contact form to get started!